Ahh SIX, the musical that had its opening night canceled the day of, when Broadway announced its closing due to COVID-19. Personally, I was waiting to read reviews that night, but I suppose now I have the chance to get ahead of them.

Before having seen this show, I did not know what to expect from the book scenes. What can six 1500s queens say to each other in a 75-minute, concert-style musical about how they were fucked over by the monarch? Turns out – not that much. The show packs in enough comical banter and jealous jabs to be memorable beyond the 2018 Off-West End recording, but its incessant reaching for a more profound message is all but cliché. I’m afraid it is as we suspected: the score of SIX is the highlight of the musical. And so I would be remiss if I didn’t tease out my favorite line (and funky rhyme) from each of the nine songs.

Before I start, I will say two things about the Broadway cast. I like it more than the West End cast, and Samantha Pauly is a goddamn Q-U-E-E-N (no pun intended). And now, without further ado…

“Ex-Wives”: Get your hands up, get this party buzzing
You want a queen bee, well there’s half a dozen

“No Way”: If you thought it’d be funny, to send me to a nunnery, honey

“Don’t Lose Your Head”: The rules were so outdated, Us two wanted to get x-rated

“Heart of Stone”: You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too

“Haus of Holbein”: For blonder hair, then you just add a magical ingredient from your bladder

“Get Down”: Now I ain’t sayin’ I’m a gold digger, but check my prenup, and go figure

“All You Wanna Do”: There’s no time for when or how, ’cause you just got to have me now

“I Don’t Need Your Love”: It’s true, I’ll never be over you
‘Cause I have built a future in my mind with you

“Six”: He got down on one knee, but I said “No Way!” (lol)

If you’ve made it to the end and are interested in a more comprehensive review of SIX, check out our podcast episode on it here.

– Cindy